Monday, August 3, 2020

Review: Grotesque

GrotesqueGrotesque by Natsuo Kirino
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Two prostitutes found dead, a year apart, killed by the same man. Their stories were being told by the sister of one of them, and a classmate of the other. She was not named in the book, she was simply the Onee-chan. Some of the feelings felt by the women hit deep to the bone marrow; sometimes you can empathize with one of them, sometimes you will hate them.

Yuriko was called by her older sister as diabolically beautiful. She hated her to the core. Because of her, she has to live in the shadow of her beautiful sister. People kept on comparing them, seeing that she is just a drab. In turn, she developed malice as a psychological defense. I've never met someone so diabolically beautiful which makes her only think of herself. But I do know a person that 's almost similar to Onee-chan and Kazou. A person full of malice and oblivious of themselves. They also act so highly, thinking that they were in the right and their belief is iron-clad morality.

I admit that at some point in time, especially when I was in HS, I was like Kazou. I believed in the "Gambare" system. But HS has its disguised caste system. It's always like that, no matter which part of the world you are, or whatever you culture you belong with. I always wanted to try my best to belong in the elite circle. But of course, I didn't belong there. And will never be. But unlike, Kazou, I outgrew this desire and directed my attention and energy to whatever I can do best.

But I knew a person who is really like Onee-chan. She protected herself with malice and cynicism. And in return, some misfortunes befell on her. I heard that she changed work. I'm glad she did. I hope that made her feel better. ..

Grotesque, a novel inspired by a real murder case of a prostitute in Japan, is more about the exploration of society's pressure on women. On dictating how they should look and behave, and what they should do about their lives.



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Sunday, June 28, 2020

Review: Pet Sematary

Pet SemataryPet Sematary by Stephen King
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

There are so many "what ifs" in this horror novel. And so many missed opportunities for Lou and Jud so that things wouldn't have happened. But anyway, I guess it's for the plot's development. King thinks that for him. this novel scares him the most because of almost identical experiences with the MC. For me, it's the IT. It gave me nightmares and chills. But I think we have our own different experiences that made stories related to our lives.

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Sunday, May 17, 2020

Review: Doctor Sleep

Doctor Sleep Doctor Sleep by Stephen King
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I watched the film first before reading the book. Which was fine because some of the parts of the story were changed. For me, both of them are great on their own.

This book is not quite a horror one. As King himself admitted that he is now a different person that his alcoholic self when he wrote the shining. Yes, this book is a sequel. An asnwer to the question of what happened to that little boy, Dan Torrance, after the tragic incident in the Overlook Hotel.

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Sunday, July 14, 2019

Amor Fati: Loving One's Fate

 

I've been debilitated by my current incompetencies and failures. Every time I start writing a draft or continue one of my stories, morbid thoughts will flood my mind, sweeping away my will and creative thoughts in the process. You will fail, this will fail, that will fail, just like everything that you've done a lot of times before. You'll never be able to finish writing this, or even if you finish that, nobody will like it.

Those negative thoughts will invade my mind day and night. And once my passion flares, no sooner it will flicker out and disappear.

I've been practicing stoicism for years. It helped me manage my anger issues and shallow personality. I can't say that I'm perfectly stoic but at least I'm sure that my behavior is way better than before.But still, I'm still afraid of the future. Of the outcomes. Until I discovered the term amor fati.

Friedrich Nietzsche considered amor fati as one of the greatest formula for human greatness. He said, “That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it.”

It is also important to note that Nietzsche was being tortured by the idea of Eternal Recurrence. It means that events will recur again, so do our fate and lives and their interconnecting pain and joys. He believed that it is is the most burdensome thoughts, the idea that there's no end to all of our earthly sufferings. He thought that accepting and loving one's fate is the only way to ease this burdensome thoughts.

We may not be burdened by these overwhelming thoughts; instead, we may bothered of our future failures. Amor fati means accepting whatever happens. The most important thing is to do our best in the present moment and accept whatever will be the outcome.

Epictitus, a former slave, tormented day by day, best said, “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.”


"I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who makes things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer."  - Nietzsche


Sunday, May 5, 2019

Absurdism: Finding Meaning in a Meaningless World

 


According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Absurdism is a philosophy based on the belief that the universe is irrational and meaningless and that the search for order brings the individual into conflict with the universe.


While many philosophers seek the meaning of life and reason for being, French-Algerian writer and philosopher Albert Camus believed that life itself has no intrinsic meaning at all. This philosophy was fully explored in his written works, most prominent in his essay, The Myth of Sisyphus. He wrote,

“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy.”

It sounds depressing. The more a person becomes aware of his existence and finding the meaning of life in the midst of chaos, the more he becomes confused.

“The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.”

Animals are saved from this problem. They exist primarily in this world just to survive: finding food, the constant need for safety from predators, and reproduction. Whereas humans, because of their higher level of consciousness, have the constant need to find meaning in an otherwise indifferent world. As Carl Jung said,

“Men can’t stand a meaningless life.”

And Victor Frankl,

“Man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life….”


A Futile Struggle



A man’s struggle to find meaning despite the universe’s indifference is what makes human life absurd.

We are all facing the ugly reality that we will all die and return to dust. That our lives are futile, no matter how we make our lives significant. A strongman who thinks that his idea is better than anybody, a great poet who can create a masterpiece that will be read by generations to come, a beautiful actress who became legendary because of early death, a mother who nurtures you, a teacher who molds you, and you who struggles to become better every day -- sleeping, waking up, eating, working – all these make life a pointless merry-go-round with no end but death.

To Camus, humans have three options to escape absurdity:

1. Physical Suicide 


It is the admittance or “confession” that life has no meaning at all and terminating its existence and its place in the universe is the only way out of absurdity.


2. Leap of Faith 


In finding for meaning, a man finds solace in religion. Because man fails to find answers through reason, he tries to find them through believing that there is a supernatural being who holds all of the answers. These kinds of men like the idea that there’s a heaven or Nirvana. They are hoping that their daily struggles and good deeds will be rewarded afterlife. To Camus, believing in religion is like committing a psychological suicide because man is using an easy way out instead of having the determination and patience in finding the answers himself and he must so as his existential duty.

3. Recognition


The best option of the three is recognizing the absurdity and confronting the ugly truth that life has no inherent meaning and trying to find so is futile.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

Frankl’s words come into mind;

“For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself….”

Facing the absurdity of human condition and accepting it makes a person an absurd hero. An absurd hero finds happiness in his struggles in finding meaning in his existence.

Human Life in Universal level


“I looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid myself open for the first time to the benign indifference of the world.”

Man’s existence in the world is only a minute fraction compared to other creatures that roamed on earth billions of years ago. And earth’s very existence is also young compared to countless other planets in the universe. If we’re going to think deeply about it, human lives, including its achievements and failures, are inconsequential.

Here’s another from Carl Sagan on the vastness of the universe and mankind’s insignificance;

Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there -- on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.


Rebellion for Happiness


Camus said that acceptance of the absurd is the only solution to this problem. Our lives might inconsequential, we might have no idea how long we are going to live, and we might never find the key to happiness, but the only way to live a fulfilling life is to live freely and that is living according to one’s own wishes.

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”

 “I rebel; therefore I exist.”


x

Sunday, June 17, 2018

How NOT to Write a Blog Post (and the best way to Procrastinate)



My hilarious love and hate towards my passion in life (yes, that's writing. Duh)

So here's my best list of How NOT to Write the Best Blog Post Ever :

1. Stop writing what matters and start doing what doesn't (Yes, like this one. Wow, You are a genius, hi-five) ✋👋

2. Because you're bored and hate researching, open your e-mail for the nth time. Of course, there's nothing important in there, so you just close the tab. 👤

3. Because you are still bored, browse Reddit and act like a cool keyboard warrior that you really are and aim for those karma points! 😎😎😎

4. You're feeling lonely and alone and isolated. Because you are a geek (or whatever or whoever you are) you must have that "must-have" action figure to talk to. But I'm not a geek. I'm a perfectly normal person. 👧 So I've got a ceramic green turtle. To talk to. Mind you, this is my second one because my bruha cat broke my first one. 😿




5. Stare at nothingness. Zoning out is the key to freedomhood. Freedom from this suffering that writing has to offer. Freedommmmmm!!!! 💣



6. Thanks to zoning out, you remembered something crucial for your survival. 💥 So armed with sticky notes and a pen, you write down 1.) noodles and 2.) water because you know yourself too much. You always forget things.  💪

7. Now you are happy. Go to Youtube, search Conan O'Brien and laugh at his dank jokes. 🙉

8. Then worry a little bit that this list might reach up to ten. 💬 😓

9. Apathy sinks in. You don't care anymore. 😑 You claim to be a Stoic. And Stoics know how to respond to negative things. They turn it into positive things. Now you're happy again. 😁

10. Continue the pursuit of "happy-ness." 😄



Okay, back to work. 😒


Monday, June 4, 2018

Religion and Philosophy: Then and Now


I am reading the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and it strikes me how ancient people regard Philosophy as modern people regard Religion.

Before, religion is all about rituals and sacrifices, prayers and winning favors of gods.

In ancient times, philosophy provides a "design for living" with coherent and logical belief systems. It involves answering mortal and existential questions. It also provides answers to problems in making ethical choices and creating an equal and just society.

Back then, you only pray to god to win a war, for a good harvest, and for a good weather.

Back then, moral and ethical decisions are man's personal responsibility.

Now, philosophy is just an academic discipline.

Now, people rely their actions based on a god's commandments.

Modern religion integrated selected "philosophical ideologies" that serve religious dogmas.

Does that mean that the ancient society had better belief system than now?

What do you think?

The Convict's Last Meal - A short story

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